I Cried So Hard

I cried so hard

I thought I would cough up my heart

My eyes were horror movie bait

In the wake of the flood

They were all but sewn shut from

The mounting heat and failing creed

I must have missed my way to Eden

For this is surely a hell of a feeling

That isn't in for the healing

 

I cried so hard

I wanted to cast out all the tears

Make me dune like, desiccate me

Take it all this time

Come on, annihilate it if I promise

To partake in it

I cannot un-know you

You are inside me now, churning

The forge is burning hot

And I am screaming

Into silence towing

A reel of unspoken feelings

 

I cried so hard I couldn't face my friend

It is the lies I can't deny

I can't stomach that my name has been erased

I may have never been

From the very beginning

I may have missed the markings

 

I cried so hard my nostrils closed shut

A car seat hermetic and concealed

Makes this pain pitiful and surreal

How I wish for spelled out words

To reach a well meaning ear

It hurts as bad as if time had played

A meaningful hand

 

It is not about the length, the days and weeks

It is the depth that opened up

 

I cried so hard I hoped you'd appear

A siren song beckoning, luring still

I am facing midday sun

Turning space into skin and I fathom

I'll eventually dig my way to freedom

Send me balm from the Lizard King

Who madly lit fires on a whim

 

I cried so hard

I cried with all my heart

If only you knew

How hard I cried

 

Maybe you did

Maybe you do

 

I cried so hard

I felt parts inside wilt

Parts of mine deciding to die