Stuck Outside Being

There is this being that's utterly stuck

Stuck between too many ways this story

Could continue to unfold and end up running amok

Some reservations easily borne into words

Leave others in the realm of the wordless

Huddling among nameless fiends

The exit seems far away, way too far to reach

And the uneasiness grows in comparison and in contrast

To the things wished to be said

It feels as if the end is already here and ready to be spelled out

This cannot end on a nicely accommodating note

Too many options tend to pulverize

The possibilities for something more

It's treacherous to be standing at such a prosperous road

To be sitting and looking in two enticingly enough directions

And to not be able to move,

To not be able to make a decisive sound

The loneliness sets in and with it sadness sets its tone

It's when blurry and vague hijack center stage

That all sentiments become unhinged at the fringe

Nothing exits with enough conviction

For anything determined to flare up and ride upon

It's but a flimsy holding on to something akin

To what in the end could have been

While honesty mingles with the increasingly unnameable

Too much of 'what is' obscures potential deviations ahead

Sitting and pondering and not spotting a healthy green spot

The reaching out is what's needed yet

At this time it feels like an impossible feat

Out here, in this miasma, this maelstrom, this vortex

The swamp's all around and the heat stagnates

Obscuring and tampering with productive sound clouds

Rain falls and tears well up

What is there to do but to stand still and try real hard

To listen finely and closely to all

The mystery will eventually resolve itself,

The solution will emerge in its proper time

The path ahead will find a way to grab what's his

Too much thinking obscures the howl and impetus riding life

All paths cannot be lived out in one

Decisions are to be made, and they will lead to a specific place

Thoughts can travel parallel and free

But when it comes to actions out in the open

In this marketplace we call life

A step in one direction obliterates going on a limb

And retaining the other option as something viable on a whim

There are endless worlds within

But on the outside roads are laid out and paved

To be trodden on one by one

Choosing retreat only to later go forth again

Muddles direction and conviction

And what's left is a ragged decision

Too many times pondered and reversed

Brought to the precipice of the permissible

And suddenly the air shrouds itself in a fog

What was once ebbs from eye sight

And where there were two roads and more

A wall is has staked its claim slammed into place

Leaving this being stuck on visualizing her loss