Psychic Liquor is about intoxication, an intoxication that seeks insight into life and its various components. It is a means with which to illuminate the alcoves, the crevices, those corners we sometimes wish away, those we fail to see.
I am not a painter, nor a dancer, nor an actress (well, not in a professional, actually talented sense), but I do write. That's what I do. It is my way of fostering meaning, of distilling significance, of making a modicum of sense of what I observe around me and what scurries around inside my mind, as perplexing as it often seems (to me at least).
Artists possess a particular lens with which to view life. There are angles to be brought to light which an artist's eye captures and defines. In Carl Sagan's book "Contact", Eleanor Arroway, a scientist working for SETI, upon beholding a different dimension, utters: "They should have sent a poet."
There is a place for poets in this world. We all have something to offer, and at this junction in my life I believe that the words that make up Psychic Liquor are my offering. They are what has wanted to come out. When it comes to artistic output, we often hear about channeling, about becoming a conduit, about a flow that the artist experiences, as if it were something inevitable, maybe destined.
All my writings are outcrops of such channeling...
...If only it were true. Writing is sweet labor. It's working on a piece over and over, and over and over again, and then you are done...but then, no, you are really not. That feeling that a piece is finished rarely comes.
In fact, consider this page a scaffold, a written realm under continued construction. That's how writing has presented itself to me. One day I think I am one damn clever writer, the next I convinced myself that somehow I managed to bunch together all of life's platitudes.
So, yes, what you may read between the lines is a dogged love for words.
This 'compendium' of entries can be seen as vignettes on life as I have lived it. Poetic prose or spoken word poetry have been my chosen artistic territory although my audience has been mainly imaginary. Words on a page, books stacked nearby, make me feel at home. For years I've been writing mostly anonymously but after watching the Oscar-nominated (now winning) film "La La Land' I decided to make these writings available. Because - well, you never know, right?!
What I wish for in posting my words on here, is to connect. To simply connect. What does it mean for me to "connect"? It means to establish a dialogue with someone, with some ones, out there, see whether these pieces resonate, whether they engender or elicit emotions, thoughts, reactions, feedback. It is my lonely kite at large. It is being akin to a "Passenger" hurtling through space flinging out my core, or in other words the pure, the less tainted, the least censored...and see if someone sends a sign back, a Voyager Golden Record of sorts.
One of my favorite movies, a trilogy to be exact, is Richard Linklater's "Before" series. In "Before Sunset", Jesse, the male protagonist, holds a book reading at the Parisian bookstore "Shakespeare and Company". He shares an excerpt from his book narrating a one-night encounter between an American student (played by Ethan Hawke) and a young French woman (played by July Delpy) in Vienna nine years prior. At one point in the film, Jesse admits that he probably wrote the book in an attempt to find the real-life woman depicted in his novel.
There are different reasons for why we write, for why we create, period. I have vacillated in my intention(s) over the past couple of years once I began editing some of my entries from the past decade. I think at the center of it all, writing is a way of understanding underlying behavior, core motivation - the human condition Andre Malraux wrote about. It is about taking a closer look. It is about unloading uncertainty, about examining feelings, it is about going through the motions. It is also about being on the lookout for the silver lining - at least for me. There seems to always be a silver lining in life.
But ultimately, and maybe more so lately, I wonder who may be interested in the words I've penned. Maybe it's too much to ask of this space, I don't know. But if I don't try, I'll never know.
I think what I am looking for is my tribe.
I've often pictured myself straddling a fence on all things life. I feel a part of something/someone, for a moment, but then the connection seems to fade, to diminish, to become complicated. It's about my yearning, my desire to feel rooted, to belong, to ground myself, to remain in sacred space.
I am looking for kindred spirits. I am looking for exchange, for holistic growth.
Writing, like all other art form, is personal. Deeply personal and potentially deeply divisive and infuriating to an anonymous readership. Opinions, positions, perspectives spill onto the page, and voila, there they are, and there you are, undressed, exposed, fodder for potential criticism, vitriol, dismissal. At the same time, however, you become transparent, you ascend, you allow yourself to stand naked in the arena. It's both a deeply humbling and a deeply empowering process.
So, this is the 'me' at play - recording moments in time, pondering junctions in my life and looking with a curious (and hesitant) eye at life as it unfolds all around.
Thank you for visiting my labor of love and for sharing space on here.